Choosing a Different Family Life

Choosing a different family life often means being told you’re wrong and learning to live with other people’s opinions – sometimes for years. From the moment we decided to step away from what was considered “normal”, we were met with concern, criticism, and repeated warnings that we were making a serious mistake.

When our first child was born, we made the decision not to send him to school and to home educate instead. At the time, this was not a popular choice. We were told our children would miss out, struggle socially, and fall behind academically. Some of that criticism came from strangers. Some of it came from people very close to us, including family.

We carried on anyway — not because it was easy, but because it felt right for our family.

Choosing differently, again and again

A few years later, we made another decision that raised eyebrows: we stopped eating meat when the children were still very small. Once again, the warnings rolled in. We were told the children wouldn’t get enough protein, that we were putting their physical development at risk, and that we were being irresponsible.

The pattern was familiar by then. Strong opinions. Worst-case predictions. Very little curiosity.

What made both decisions harder was the fact that we didn’t have mentors. We didn’t know other home-educating families personally. We didn’t know other vegetarian families raising children long-term. We were learning as we went — researching, reading, adjusting, and figuring things out on our own.

The pressure on mothers to “do more”

Alongside these choices came another ongoing pressure: that I should be working to financially support the family.

On the surface, it sounds reasonable. In practice, every time I tried to juggle paid work alongside home education, household responsibilities, and the emotional needs of the children, something gave way. The children felt the strain. I felt the strain — mentally and physically.

Being constantly stretched thin didn’t make our family stronger. It made everything harder.

👉Staying home wasn’t about opting out of responsibility. It was the responsibility.

Doing life without a blueprint

• Living differently means you don’t get a ready-made roadmap.
• You don’t get universal approval.
• You don’t get constant reassurance that you’re doing the right thing.

What you do get is doubt — especially when finances are tight, when life feels heavy, and when people insist things would be easier if you just did what everyone else does.

But here’s the part that matters most…

Nearly 17 years later

We’re now nearly 17 years into this journey.

The children we were warned about are very healthy, extremely capable, thoughtful young people. The dire predictions never materialised. The choices we were told would “ruin their lives” became the foundation for a family life that works for us.

That doesn’t mean it’s been easy. None of it has been. Home education takes effort. Vegetarianism takes planning. Having one parent at home takes sacrifice.

But difficulty does not equal failure.

A word for anyone doubting themselves

If you’re reading this while second-guessing your own choices — especially because other people don’t agree with them — know this:

You don’t need everyone’s approval.
You don’t need to live the same life as anyone else.
And you don’t need to abandon your convictions just because they make others uncomfortable.

Not every path suits every family. But different does not mean wrong.

Sometimes it just means you’re brave enough to choose deliberately — and patient enough to let time do the talking.

If this post resonates…

If this post feels uncomfortably familiar, you’re not alone. Many families quietly choose different paths and carry the weight of those decisions without much support.

This site exists to share real experiences — not perfect systems or one-size-fits-all answers. You’re welcome to explore, take what helps, and leave the rest.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. Sometimes, knowing others have walked a similar road is enough to steady your footing.

If you’re looking for quiet reassurance rather than advice, you may also find comfort in The Village — a space on this site where parents, carers, and grandparents share short words of wisdom from lived experience. There’s no pressure to contribute; sometimes reading that others have felt the same way is enough.

For families exploring different paths, organisations such as the Alternative Education Resource Organization (AERO) offer general information and reassurance that there is more than one way to raise and educate children.